Repost: Offbeat Bride | The dowry tradition and how it relates to today's bride

If you're wondering about financing your wedding, check out this lively debate over at Offbeat Bride, and be sure to read the comments!  The focus is on whether or not the brides parents should pay for the wedding, and all that it implies..
 Offbeat Bride | The dowry tradition and how it relates to today's bride
Before I let you go, here's my own take on the subject...
It's lovely when parents are willing and able to help finance a wedding. When a bridal couple accepts financial help, it should be in a posture of gratitude, not with an air of entitlement. Financial help should also be accepted with a clear understanding of what the expectations are.


Your wedding should fit within the framework of your your personal values. Here are some considerations that may effect how you allocate your resources.
• You may highly value staying out of debt. 

Photo courtesy of Sharp Exposure Photography

• One of your values might be your sense of community which might lead to a larger guest list (and potentially greater expense).  
• Your heritage and traditions might be an aspect of your wedding that brings you the most joy.
• You might also value having a green wedding or supporting locally owned businesses!  
• Having a fair-trade celebration might be very important to you.
You might have a really different set of sensibilities than your parents, and it will be important to communicate your plans, hopes and desires with them before they share financial stake in your wedding celebration.  The last thing you want before your wedding is conflict over how much input your parents have after they've bankrolled your wedding!


I recognize that money can be one of the more difficult topics to discuss.  We tend to have a lot of emotion wrapped up in the meaning of how we choose to spend or not spend our money. If the topic is too daunting to discuss, consider talking it over with your fiance, or getting help from your officiant, pre-marital counselor or life coach, whoever you can depend on to help you move forward with integrity and clarity. 


One final thought: Did you know that weddings tend to run significantly over budget?!? I have heard weddings generally run 30% over budget, but I'm having trouble verifying the number... A professional wedding planner can help you stay within your budget and prioritize what's important to you.  Contact Planned Spontaneity.  I can help you celebrate in a way that reflects your style and personal values within your budget.

Repost: HEAD OVER HEELS: PRIORITIZING YOUR BUDGET

I love this article! Nicole Zenner is a friend and a member of the Association of Bridal Consultants.  She offers some great information about keeping within your budget, and also describes how wedding planners can help you stay within your budget!  I can add that I regularly plan weddings with budgets between $10,000 and $20,000, and I always include my services within the budget.  Click below to read Nicole's article!  

- Home - HEAD OVER HEELS: PRIORITIZING YOUR BUDGET

The First Three Decisions

If you're newly engaged, you’ve probably shared the joyous news of your engagement with all of your friends and family. Once you've been toasted and congratulated, the reality of wedding planning may begin to sink in.  You may begin to ask yourself, "Where do you start?" Here's a hint... All other wedding planning decisions will be easier after you answer the following questions:

1.  What is the style and theme of your celebration?

2.  What is your budget?

3.  How large is the guest list?

First, give some thought to the style and theme of your wedding. This decision will guide you in determining everything from food and venue to attire and favors.  Consider your personal values and background and incorporate them into your theme.   Your wedding is in some ways an introduction.  You and your partner can showcase what’s important to you as a couple!  What a great way to start married life! For a more in depth article on color theme and motif, check out my previous blog post here.

Next, look at your budget.  How much do you want to spend on your wedding?  Look at CostOfWedding.com to see what the averages are in your area, but keep in mind You are not average!  Knowing what others spend is only a starting point. You can create a fabulous celebration that is tailored to your own values within your budget if you can keep perspective about what’s important to you.

Finally, determine the size of your guest list. Advantages of a larger guest list include being able to share your joy with your larger community. Advantages of a smaller guest list include a smaller carbon footprint, and the ability to stretch your budget further. It’s really a very personal decision that needs to be based on what’s important to you. This is also a good time to talk to interested parties (like your parents) about what their expectations are. Create a gathering that is a comfortable size for you and your partner, while still including all of the people you want to share your day with.

Wedding planning can be overwhelming, so please don't hesitate to call for help! Planned Spontaneity has the tools and experience to help you create a celebration that fits within the framework of your personal values, your aesthetic, and your budget!  Contact me today for your free consultation. (608) 446-0346 or events@plannedspontaneity.net. 

Also, as a bonus offer in celebration of re-launching Planned Spontaneity, I'm offering a free budget analysis to the first 4 people who e-mail me a link to this article.  I'm offering a free highly personalized budget analysis- a $200 value!  I'll interview you to determine where you'd like to allocate your resources, and give you a very detailed budget that you can use to create your perfect wedding!  This is completely different from the freebies you can find in any bridal magazine or on the internet.  It is a highly detailed budget that includes all the wedding items you want, and none of the items you don't!  I'll even include the service fees and gratuities as well as postage for your invitations an thank-you cards!

I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Marilee Karamanski,

Celebration Specialist

Welcome to the new Planned Spontaneity!

There have been some exciting transformations in the world of Planned Spontaneity! Our color scheme has changed, and our values have been clarified and moved in to center stage. While I continue to provide full-service event planning, I have formalized my desire to support the environment, my community, and humanity.

Here are my commitments:

• A portion of our proceeds are donated to charity.  For 2010 we are supporting African Youth Outreach with 10% of our event planning and coordination proceeds.

• We leave the smallest carbon footprint possible and offer environmentally responsible options for décor, transportation, food, gifts, invitations and other elements related to events and business.

• We offer socially responsible options by encouraging the use of fair-trade items like chocolates, coffee and favors.

• We support local businesses so our nearby communities will continue to thrive.

• We continue to be inclusive.  Regardless of ethnicity, religion or orientation, we are be honored to be included in your celebrations and events.

Our web site has changed and our values clarified, but our primary goal continues to be supporting our clients with creating low-stress celebrations within the framework of their personal values! I love stepping out of the box and creating celebrations that are unique to each of my clients.

As part of this refreshing new business, I will be bringing you blog posts on a regular basis on anything and everything related to events, weddings, party planning and celebrations, with a “green” socially responsible twist! Make sure to check back often or subscribe for new information, tips and interviews in the world of event planning.

Read on!

Yours truly,

Marilee Karamanski

Celebration Specialist

Mr. Tutera's 3 Rules

Ask a Celebration Specialist

Dear Marilee,

I'm familiar with the standard formula of big-white-dress... ceremony... dinner... dancing. But frankly I'm a little bored by all that. I want my wedding to be more personalized. I really want it to be more memorable and fun! Do you have any ideas about how I can create a more memorable and fun wedding celebration?

Signed,
Thinking-Outside-the-Box Bride

Dear TOBB,

This is a very exciting topic! In November 2007, I attended a Conference with the Association of Bridal Consultants in Orlando Florida. The keynote speaker was David Tutera (Party Planner to the Stars).

Generally I’m only marginally interested in what’s going on with the stars. I’m much more interested in what’s going on in my own community with people I already know or might meet. But…

OHMYGODIMETDAVIDTUTERA!!! I purchased his beautiful book, listened to his talk and jostled with everyone else to get my book autographed. By the end of it I was giddy, AND I learned lots. Here are David’s 3 rules for wedding celebrations.

1. Take your guests on a journey.
Regardless of your budget, you don’t need to have a cookie cutter wedding. You can tell your story in many ways, but the key is to invite them into an experience. All the details can invite your guests to discover more about you individually and as a couple- what’s important to you?

2. Change it up.
The typical wedding day schedule is:
•Ceremony in the early afternoon
•Take a break for the bridal party to pose for photos and visit a bar
•Serve cocktails and appetizers around 5
•Grand entrance around 6
•Dinner
•Toasts
•Cake
•Dancing
You can keep things more interesting and less predictable just by changing the order. Imagine joining your guests for the party and ending the evening with your wedding vows by candlelight.

3. Keep things moving.
If something different happens every 30 minutes, you’ll have a unique and exciting celebration- your guests will be glad they accepted your invitation! Let the excitement crescendo toward a climax with a final denouement. If your vows are later in your party, that would be a beautiful climax that everything else can build up to.

If you are inspired by the possibility of having an outside the box wedding, but are a little nervous about the logistics, just drop me a line and I’ll give you a call. We can set up a free consultation.

Grattitude

Dear Reader,

Planning Spontaneity was on hiatus last month due to a very busy few weeks. It’s on my mind that I couldn’t do what I do without a great community of friends, family and professional support. Before I get to the article- Ask a Celebration Specialist, I want to thank the people who made late June and Early July possible.

My apprentice Tanja of Sunset Events, her husband Craig and her mom, Joan did a huge amount of work for me. They helped set up and coordinate my most complex wedding to date, and I couldn’t have done it without them.

I am a member of several professional organizations. These organizations are nothing without their members. The ladies in NAWBO- Madison (National Association of Women Business Owners) have been a professional and moral support to me since I first started Planned Spontaneity. ABC (The Association of Bridal Consultants) offers educational and networking opportunities for bridal professionals, and the members have been incredibly generous with their time and knowledge. Finally, I’ve recently joined WUMFA (Wisconsin- upper Michigan Floral Association) because Mel, Heather & Sarah at Bill Doran, my floral whole-saler were so generous with their time and knowledge as I was setting up my flower studio.

I also want to thank my clients who entrust their festivities to my care. Thank you for honoring me with that trust and letting me be part of your glorious celebrations.

I am vitally aware that my business is successful if the professionals I work with are excellent, so Kudos to Chad Torkleson of Midwest Sound and Light Show. He has gone far beyond what is required to give my clients great wedding entertainment.

A few friends have gone way above the call of duty with their generous support- Vicky Jones helped me capture what I do in pictures so I can share it with you, and Tina Matlock has given me many-many hours of napkin folding and website help. Because of both of these phenomenal loving women, I will soon have some great pictures on my blog and my website.

Finally, My family… My darling husband lovingly takes on the responsibility of single handedly caring for our children while I’m immersed in the minutia of weddings and parties. My beautiful daughters treat me like a rock star when I emerge from several days submersed in a celebration. They make me feel great to be a mom.

Nobody wants a Cookie-Cutter Celebration

Dear Marilee,
I really love the look of weddings I see on TV and in magazines. The problem is, none of those sources actually tell me how to achieve my own look for my celebration, and If I just try to copy the TV shows, I'll be Zillions of dollars over budget... Help! Is there a way to get a great look in the real world?

Signed, I don't want a Cookie-Cutter Wedding!

Dear Cookie,
Nobody wants a “cookie-cutter” celebration, but everybody wants a beautiful celebration. Here is a straight- forward formula for designing a masterpiece that will reflect your personal style and values and will dazzle your guests. Don’t just invite your guests to a party; invite them to share in an experience. Create a unique celebration experience through the use of a theme, colors, a well-chosen motif, and lots of details.

1. Choose a theme that resonates with your style and values.
2. Choose a color scheme and commit to it.
3. Create a motif to tie it all together
4. Creat a lush experience by adding details

That’s the magic formula: Theme + Color + Motif + Details

Here’s what I mean:
1. Choose a theme that resonates with your style and values.
Accentuate your ethnicity, your values, or your interests using a well- chosen theme. Take some time to think about what’s important to you, and what you’re celebrating. If you’re celebrating your wedding, why are you marrying this person? What do you love about the prospect of being with them? Dawn & John wanted to emphasize “Love of Family and Childlike Playfulness”. We used this theme as a touchstone to create their whole celebration. Keep your theme in mind when planning your stationery, entertainment, clothing, décor, favors, food and activities. Note the wax lips for the photo of the wedding party! The brides son and daughter were an integral part of their wedding. Your theme will give you a very personal celebration- not a cookie cutter party that anyone might have hosted. Your guests will feel the difference!

2. Commit to a color scheme.

Choose 2-3 colors you love that work with your theme then… USE THEM! Brides sometimes choose the colors for the bride’s maid’s gowns but don’t use that color again in the rest of the celebration. To create an unforgettable visual experience, use your colors boldly. It’s okay to choose subtle colors, but don’t let it look like they crept in by accident. For the couple who were attracted to one another’s “Love of Family and Childlike Playfulness”, we chose bright beautiful colors Fuchsia, Yellow and Orange. Create a cohesive well-designed look by commiting to your color scheme. Use your colors in your stationery, in you linens, in your flowers in your attire and in your décor. Your guests will feel like they’ve stepped into a piece of art.

3. Brand your celebration with a motif.
A motif is a graphic element that ties together the elements of your décor. It’s that finishing touch that makes the difference between “pretty invitations” and “Introduction to the celebration”. Your motif can be closely related to the theme of your celebration. With the theme and colors we’ve been mentioning, we choose a single daisy motif.


4. Create a lush experience by adding details
Now that we have established a theme, colors and a motif, we use them throughout the celebration to create a cohesive look and a spectacular experience.

Invitation for Fun!


Favors: Lots of fun toys –mostly in the wedding colors. The guests are invited to indulge their inner child playing with bendy neon monkeys, puzzle balls and mardi gras beads (Also in the wedding colors of course!)The DJ: is an intigral part of the plan for this wedding. The DJ will lead dance games like hokey-pokey, limbo and the chicken dance!

Décor: The tables are set with an orange runner, a mirror tile and a bud vase with yelow daisies and a yellow ribon. All the chairs will have fuchsia ties and the napkins are fuchsia satin.

Scavenger Hunt: The guests will be asked to find mementos from the couple’s early courtship, canned goods and toys to be donated to their favorite charities.

Love of Family: The newly formed family (Including children) will perform a sand ceremony using sand in the wedding colors to create a vase that represents all the members of the new family. The Vase is etched with the names of the family members and decorated with daisies!

Cake: The cake is a tiered cake with a cascade of daisies on it. There are also smaller wraped cakes in bright orange, yellow and fuchsia.

Candy Buffet! To indulge the inner child’s sweet tooth, we have a spectacular candy buffet layed out with candies including the wedding colors and decorated with beads and vases of daisies, as well as daisy shaped lollys.

Experience: All the guests get to experience the love, caring, and playfulness this couple brings to their union. During the scavenger hunt guests will learn more about what’s important (From favorite sport’s teams to their favorite charities), and during the party they get to experience the playfulness while living in an explosion of color.

Well-chosen design elements and activities will tell part of your story. Guests will end the celebration feeling a little bit closer to you, and they will have had a great time.

What I learned at the ABC-WI Spring Retreat...

1. Even at the end of April we can get snow in Wisconsin… BRRRR!

2.A wrapped pencil or wooden dowel can save a collapsing tiered cake from falling on the floor (who knew)!

3. ABC-WI (The Wisconsin Branch of the Association of Bridal Consultants) continues to be the best resource I have for wedding planning information and support.

3 Things to Look for in a Celebration Specialist

1. Chemistry

The first thing to look for when hiring a wedding coordinator or planner is chemistry. You should feel like this is a person you want in your inner circle during your celebration. You will rely on her to care for you, your family and your guests. She should be able to get to know you intimately enough to create a celebration tailored to your personality and values. You need to be able to trust her. Ask yourself “Is this a person I want in my inner circle during my celebration?”


2. Communication
The second thing to look for is exceptional communication. Your celebration specialist should always listen to you and keep your vision at the forefront. It’s not about them and their vision; it’s about you! She will craft an event that no one but you could have hosted. Ask yourself “Does she get me? Does she understand what I want? Will she give me the celebration of my dreams?”


3. Professionalism
Last but far from least is professionalism. Anyone who has hosted a party can start a business and call herself an event planner. Some things to check out are professional affiliations, legal contracts and references.


Two professional organizations for event planners

•ABC (the Association of Bridal Consultants)You’re not permitted to use the ABC logo until you have completed the ABC Professional development program. Look for their logo particularly when hiring a wedding planner. 

•ISES, the (International Special Events Society).
 •NACE, (National Association of Catering Executives)


A professional contract will clearly state what what she is obligated to do for you, and what it will cost. The services may range from a brief consultation to full service coordination including guest list management and budgeting. A professional will give you a clear contract and will give you time to read and understand it before signing.


You should also ask for references. In addition to former clients, other event profesionals like DJ’s, Photographers, Venue managers and wedding officients frequently see an event planner in action and will have a good sense of how well they do their job.

Here's wishing you the very best fit with your celebration specialist!