Repost: Modern Etiquette

The fact that there is an etiquette guide to talking about your wedding on Facebook is definitely a sign of our times...


In addition to the eight tips posted on allfacebook.com, I'll add a few more...


8 Facebook Wedding Etiquette Tips


9. Don't post all the pictures from your photographer without their permission. In most cases, this is actually a violation of copyright law. Ask your photographer for some low-res watermarked files you can use.  If you talk to them, there is usually a way it can work where the photographer gets some publicity, and your friends get to see the images! You can also post the snapshots your friends and family have taken (with their permission-of course!) 


10. On Facebook as well as other places it's good to remember the advice "Praise in public, criticize in private." If you care about your relationships and your community, it's always better to take up any problems in private. With your professionals, they'll be more likely to try to fix the problem if you haven't already trashed their reputation. Of course, public praise is always nice- good karma for everyone!


11. I'd add an addendum to "Stay off line during nuptials". I think it would be fine to post "We did it!" or something equally short and to the point after the ceremony. But really, on the day of your wedding and even through your honeymoon- your focus should be on the people/person you're with- the rest of us can wait.


Remember, Facebook, Twitter and whatever is next down the pike are great tools for keeping in touch with your community.  These tools, however, are not a substitute for community.

Repost: Hair and Dancing!

Photo Courtesy of Anda Marie Photography

I just found this great article about coordinating your hair do with your wedding entertainment! 


These are the types of details that can really make your celebration "pop".

Check out this article from Gigmasters.

Wedding Hair Wedding Planning

2011's Hottest Sustainable Wedding Trends

If you're at all interested in having a sustainable wedding (and who isn't?), this is a great article from RecycledBride where brides buy and sell gently used wedding dresses. Fire and Ice by Planned Spontaneity Many of my clients have helped set these trends! How are you creating a sustainable celebration? Are you using any of these ideas? Do you have other ideas you're using? Please share your ideas in the comment section at the bottom of this blog. At Planned Spontaneity, we specialize in creating celebrations that fit with your personal values. We've used many of these ideas and more to produce beautiful, fun, sustainable celebrations. As public awareness grows about sustainability, the wedding market is seeing dramatic shifts in the values and purchasing habits of brides, grooms, and their guests. Excessive spending and wasteful extravagance are out, while eco-friendly choices like paperless invitations, cocktail-length wedding dresses, and locally sourced menus and gifts are in. Weddings in 2011 are all about simple elegance, creative DIY projects, and attire and decorations that can be used again after the big day. "A sustainable wedding is one that includes elements which have a positive social and environmental impact. It's incredibly exciting to be at the forefront of sustainable wedding trends and to observe how couples all over the world are making beautiful, ethical choices for their celebrations," says Tracy DiNunzio, founder and CEO of Recycled Bride. "This year's sustainable wedding trends are going mainstream, with more couples than ever incorporating eco-friendly elements into their weddings." Eleven Sustainable Wedding Trends for 2011 Moonstone Engagement Ring Turtle Love Committee 1. Diamonds are no longer a girl's best friend: Inspired by the sapphire ring that Prince William gave to Kate Middleton, alternative gemstones are all the rage for engagements in 2011. Brides will express their individual style -- and avoid conflict diamonds -- with rings made of colored stones like sapphires, emeralds, and rubies, and sparkly diamond alternatives like moissonite and synthetic diamonds. 2. Chalkboard chic: Stylish slate signs will take the place of paper wedding programs, seating cards, and menus. Chalkboard signs can be made to look elegant and fancy or sweet and rustic, and can be created inexpensively at home using scavenged picture frames, chalkboard paint, and a little creativity. Reducing paper waste at your wedding never looked so stylish! Nutshell Catering 3. Weddings go local: Farmer's market menus and locally sourced favors and gifts are hip as can be this year. By doing their wedding shopping locally, couples minimize their carbon footprint, support their local economy, and delight guests with unique details they won't find elsewhere. This trend caught fire after Chelsea Clinton's locally lovely wedding in Rhinebeck, New York, and will continue well into 2011. 4. The "staycation-moon": The popular staycation trend meets the honeymoon as couples skip the expense and carbon footprint associated with honeymoon travel in favor of romantic hometown adventures. Picture a week of museum visits, local theater and sporting events, park picnics, bucket-list adventures, and romantic dining -- no luggage required! 5. Intimate weddings: Weddings with small guest lists create less waste, offer more warmth, and give couples tons of flexibility when choosing a location. Intimate wedding celebrations range from elegant multi-course dinners in hotel penthouses to backyard barbecues featuring local bands and brews. 6. Cocktail wedding dresses: Short wedding dresses are all the rage, and just about every major bridal designer has debuted a knee-length collection for 2011. A cocktail-length dress can be worn again, and many are just as formal and elegant as a long gown. Look for tons of short and sweet styles for sale on Recycled Bride right now. 7. Paperless Invitations: Electronic wedding communication is easier and prettier than ever, with companies like Glo offering stunning, interactive online save-the-dates, reply cards, invitations, and more. E-mail invites are less expensive than paper and help to reduce wedding waste. Tea Length Wedding Dress by Recycled Bride   8. Greener Gifting: Registries have gone green, with tons of new options for brides and grooms who want to receive ethically-made gifts and support the sustainable economy. Two of our faves are the Green Bride Guide Shop and The Knot's Gift Registry 360, which lets couples create one centralized registry with products from any online retailer they choose. And green donation gifts, like Bluebell Giving Cards, will be popular as both wedding presents and guest favors. 9. Face Forward: Long veils are sitting on the sidelines this year, as brides forgo them in favor of birdcage styles and unique hair accessories that can be worn again. Expect to see 2011's brides in headbands, vintage hair clips, flowers, and chic tiaras. 10. Flexitarian Feasts: Another trend inspired by Chelsea Clinton's veggie-conscious wedding is reducing the amount of meat on the menu. This year, more couples will offer vegetable- and grain-based meal options for their guests in an effort to save money and save the Earth.   11. Wedding Recycling: More brides, grooms, bridesmaids and guests than ever are shopping and selling on sites like RecycledBride.com. Smart users enjoy the financial, environmental, and social benefits of wedding recycling, and discover the joy of sharing, saving, and passing on treasured wedding items to other happy couples.

About Recycled Bride: RecycledBride.com is the world's largest wedding marketplace. Members buy and sell everything from designer wedding gowns to reception decorations, bridesmaids dresses, shoes, and wedding gifts. Reselling new and gently used wedding items on Recycled Bride lets users minimize their carbon footprint and maximize their budgets. Recycled Bride is owned byRecycled Media, Inc. and was founded in 2009 by Tracy DiNunzio in Santa Monica, California. An eco-conscious business, Recycled Bride donates a portion of its advertising revenue to Global Green USA.

I Love My Tree Skirt: A case for repurposing your wedding gown

I love my tree skirt made by
Just for You

As Christmas approaches, I have the joy of decorating my tree. My tree skirt was made from the hem of my wedding gown.

My Mother's Gown

When I got married, I wanted to wear my mother's gown. Alas, that was not to be. I'm about 6" taller and of a more "solid" build... Even adding gussets wouldn't have made her beautiful 1950 satin gown look flattering on me... 
Reminiscing about this gets me thinking about the fate of wedding gowns after the big day! So, while I'm reminiscing, I'll offer some options for what is probably the most sentimental garment you will ever wear:
• Hang it in the back of your closet...indefinitely. 

Heritage Garment
 Preservation 

This is what I did for the first eight years- seriously. I know this isn't usually considered an "official" option, but after the wedding, a bride might not want to make another wedding related decision for a while.
Pros: This is the lowest stress option. The only action it requires is putting the dress it on the hanger after your wedding. (Don't keep your dress in a dry-cleaning bag, it can mildew.) If you haven't decided what you want to do with it, this usually doesn't rule out other options!
Cons: It could get eaten by moths, stains may set in, it could get damaged, it takes up space that you might have other uses for. You probably won't be able to sell since the fashion won't be current after a year.

Lake Mills Cleaners

• Have it professionally cleaned and preserved. This is what my mother did- and it almost worked out!
Pros: Passing your wedding gown through the generations can be a beautiful, sentimental memento. Any parent would cry seeing their daughter wearing the heirloom dress on her wedding day. Having your gown professionally cleaned will remove any hidden stains that may show up with time and preserve your gown for your future daughter to wear.

Heirloom Textile Art

Cons: There's no guarantee you will have a daughter. If you do have a daughter, there's no guarantee she will want to wear your wedding gown. If she wants to wear your gown, there's no guarantee it will fit her...(harumph). 

The Patchwork Bear

• Sell it
Pros: Okay, the pros are obviou$.  You may have some visions of paying off some wedding debt, or at least making back some of what you spent on your gown. Here are some resources: Just for You in Verona, does bridal consignment. On line, look at PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com, e-bay and Craigslist

Custom Apparel by
 Kay Warnke

Cons: It might not be as easy you think, and it could be a drawn-out process if your gown doesn't sell. The website, PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com says about 40% of their gowns sell on their site.  If you don't have that kind of energy right after your wedding, you can sell it through a consignment shop.  Most consignment shops will only take the current fashion, and they have to take their cut which will decrease your profit!  You probably won't get quite as much for selling your gown as you hoped. 
• Donate it
Pros: You get the large gown out of the closet with minimal fuss or stress.  Someone else gets to wear it!
Cons: This isn't a good option for you if you're sentimental about your gown. Imagine going to a halloween party and seeing someone wearing your wedding gown... and they've slashed the skirt... and dyed it purple. For some of my more offbeat sisters, this might actually go in the "Pros" column, but probably not for most.

• Make or have heirloom items made from the fabric! 

Just for You

This is my favorite option! I had a tree skirt made from the hem of my gown.  It's beautiful! I hope to have other items made as I decide what I want done. "Just For You" in Verona made my beautiful tree skirt. Some items you can have made are tree skirts, ornaments, doll dresses, stuffed toys, christening gowns, hankies, stockings, decorative pillows and quilts!

Pros: You can enjoy your beautiful gown as often as you use the heirloom items. If you have more than one child, you can have several things made and they can each have something. The gown doesn't become a white elephant taking up space either in a box or hanging in your closet.

Cons: Once you start cutting up your gown, there's no going back. You can't buy it back, get it out of the box or let your daughter wear it. 

Hokey Cha-Chicken Slide: Dance Party Music!

There are few things more controversial in the world of wedding receptions than the Chicken Dance and the Macarena! Other examples include the YMCA, Hokey Pokey, Cha-Cha Slide, Electric Slide, and Limbo Rock! (Click the links to see some videos!)


Here's one opinion: from  Wedding Receptions - The Do Not Play List by Nina Callaway, "Sure, DJs love these songs. They're great for entertaining kids, and they get people on the dance floor. But there's absolutely nothing elegant, sophisticated, or hip about them..."

Photo courtesy of
 Angelic Angles

Here's what The Knot says about the Macarena "You may know how to do the dance -- but do you really want to? Besides, everyone has a few certain relatives they'd rather not see get down with that hip swivel move."

Photo courtesy of Angelic Angles

Now that we've heard the negative... why do these songs remain popular at wedding receptions and other dances? If everybody hates them, why do DJs play them?  Perhaps it's because people vote with their feet. We may not say it out loud, but most people secretly appreciate these dances.  Everyone knows the moves- and if they don't, they're easy to follow along.  It's a very effective way to liven up the dance floor! Nobody's claiming they're elegant or sophisticated- you've been elegant and sophisticated all day.  These dances are an opportunity to relax a bit and be less elegant and sophisticated.

So, in the end, it's really up to you!  You know your guests.  Do you want your guests to dance?  Are they people who are comfortable on the dance floor?

If your friends are ballroom dancers and can recognize a waltz, cha-cha, or foxtrot within the first few bars, you can probably skip the Hokey, Cha-Chicken Slide.  

Photo Courtesy of MFR Photo

If, on the other hand, your guests are regular folks who aren't particularly comfortable on the dance floor, these dances can be awesome ice breakers, and...ssshhhh!... a lot of fun!

Wedding Entertainment 101

Photo provided courtesy of Angelic Angles

I wanted to write a quick "Wedding Entertainment 101" article. Unfortunately, even a "simple" list of entertainment options quickly became waaay too unwieldy for a little introduction article. After several attempts I realized that this sort of "intro has been done by others. Why reinvent the wheel? What I want to do is write about some specific details. So, by way of Wedding Entertainment 101, I'd like to refer you to a good comprehensive article written by Lori Voth at Associated Content. Wedding Event Planning: Entertainment Options. It's got a good description of the basics of Live Music vs. DJ vs. DIY. The Knot also has a good article, Reception Music: Getting Started.

Greek Wedding Dance!

Here are some topics you can look forward to here!

• Incorporating your heritage or ethnicity into your wedding entertainment

• Pros and cons of DIY vs. hiring professionals
• ”Dance Party” style music selections — the good, the bad … you know

The Harmonious Wail

Of course, with my contra-dance background, I’m looking forward to introducing many of you to the option of hiring a caller or folk-dance instructor!

The Last Gaspe

Finally, I’m in the process of getting interviews lined up and hope to introduce you to some fabulous local entertainers to consider for your celebration!

Repost: HEAD OVER HEELS: PRIORITIZING YOUR BUDGET

I love this article! Nicole Zenner is a friend and a member of the Association of Bridal Consultants.  She offers some great information about keeping within your budget, and also describes how wedding planners can help you stay within your budget!  I can add that I regularly plan weddings with budgets between $10,000 and $20,000, and I always include my services within the budget.  Click below to read Nicole's article!  

- Home - HEAD OVER HEELS: PRIORITIZING YOUR BUDGET

Wedding Photography 101

One area where the professional you choose will make a huge difference in how you remember your wedding, is your photographer.  I’ve been talking to local photographers lately, and one of the questions I ask them is to describe their style.  I realized though, that many of our clients may not know the difference between “Traditional” and “Photojournalistic”.  I was even unclear until I attended a workshop by Scott Patrick at the 2009 ABC-WI spring retreat!    Here are the three main families of styles you’ll find in wedding photography.

 Photojournalism: You don’t pose for these photos; the photographer takes candid shots of the guests and events as they happen throughout the day.  Much like a photojournalist for a newspaper, a wedding photojournalist will not direct events, but will capture images of the events as they happen.

Pros: A photojournalistic photographer will tend to be fairly unobtrusive. They will capture the feel of your celebration, and aim to capture “real” moments rather than choreographed scenes.

Cons: Like I said, they will capture “real” moments rather than choreographed scenes. Their goal is not to make you look beautiful, their goal is to capture how you look!  Many of us need a little more coaching to look good in front of the camera.

Traditional: You provide a list of everyone you’d like included in the photographs. The photographer stages the shot and gives direction to get the best shot possible.   These are the photographs many of us have in the family album with the  traditional family groupings. 

Pros: Traditional Photography is really good for creating a “Who’s Who” of your wedding day. Thirty years from now when you’re looking for a photograph of Uncle Edward, he’ll be right there next to Aunt Louise in the family photo. The images will make a lovely addition to a montage of family photos that have been accumulated through the generations. 
Cons: These staged shots look a lot like everyone else’s staged shots. The style was really developed in the era when people had to be still for a  long time while their photograph was being taken, so the poses can seem a bit stiff.  It may or may not capture the artistry of your celebration.

Editorial: This is the style high-fashion photographer’s use. The photographer will give direction to help you get the best photographs, and you’ll get pictures with an artistic flair.  The photographer’s goal is to create images that are works of art.

 Pros: The photographer will work with you and become an integral part of your celebration. The photographer will show you how to pose to look your most beautiful. 

Cons: The photographer will be an integral part of your celebration.  This is not the unobtrusive style of the photojournalist.

Most if not all wedding photographers will blend these styles. Any wedding photographer will be prepared to photograph specific traditional groupings you request.  They will all do their best to capture candid moments as well as to try to make you look your best in your photos. When you’re looking at photographers though, it's helpful to know the vocabulary.

It’s all about deciding what’s most important to you – do you want your photographer to give you direction and set up poses and action shots with artistic flair, or do you want them to stay in the background, unobtrusively documenting your celebration?

There are a myriad of different photographers at various price points, so make sure to look at the photographer’s portfolio and choose the one whose style and values fit yours. The professionals at Planned Spontaneity partner with a variety of photographers that can deliver beautiful products with many different styles. Contact us today at events@plannedspontaneity.net or by calling
608-446-0346 to schedule your free consultation now!  

3 Things to Look for in a Celebration Specialist

1. Chemistry

The first thing to look for when hiring a wedding coordinator or planner is chemistry. You should feel like this is a person you want in your inner circle during your celebration. You will rely on her to care for you, your family and your guests. She should be able to get to know you intimately enough to create a celebration tailored to your personality and values. You need to be able to trust her. Ask yourself “Is this a person I want in my inner circle during my celebration?”


2. Communication
The second thing to look for is exceptional communication. Your celebration specialist should always listen to you and keep your vision at the forefront. It’s not about them and their vision; it’s about you! She will craft an event that no one but you could have hosted. Ask yourself “Does she get me? Does she understand what I want? Will she give me the celebration of my dreams?”


3. Professionalism
Last but far from least is professionalism. Anyone who has hosted a party can start a business and call herself an event planner. Some things to check out are professional affiliations, legal contracts and references.


Two professional organizations for event planners

•ABC (the Association of Bridal Consultants)You’re not permitted to use the ABC logo until you have completed the ABC Professional development program. Look for their logo particularly when hiring a wedding planner. 

•ISES, the (International Special Events Society).
 •NACE, (National Association of Catering Executives)


A professional contract will clearly state what what she is obligated to do for you, and what it will cost. The services may range from a brief consultation to full service coordination including guest list management and budgeting. A professional will give you a clear contract and will give you time to read and understand it before signing.


You should also ask for references. In addition to former clients, other event profesionals like DJ’s, Photographers, Venue managers and wedding officients frequently see an event planner in action and will have a good sense of how well they do their job.

Here's wishing you the very best fit with your celebration specialist!